Gotta “Get It Right”?
A Winter Stream in Ulster County, NY
Does any of this sound familiar?
You’ve gotta “get it right”.
You can’t let anyone see you down.
You’ve always got to be “on” and “strong” and “have it all on the ball”? You believe that anything less makes you n-e-e-d-y?
As it turns out, there are absolutely times that I feel this way: vulnerable, doubting myself and feeling inadequate to something I’m attempting to build in my life (see note below on Human Design / Gene Key Gate 48 (one of several Libra Gates)).
I realized some things about this.
This “gotta get it right” business is totally unfair! Why do so many of us feel like we’ve got to be perfect all the time? Having feelings, no matter what they are, is what makes us human. Pretending that we are “fine” when we are “not fine”, is unsustainable, bad for our health, and is a lie that results in superficial relationships and emotional isolation. “Getting it right” all the time is a recipe for disaster which leads to more sadness, depression and fear. (To name just a few from this belief’s “Top 10 List”.)
Sometimes “getting it wrong” is actually the answer to deeper connection, to living an authentic life, to feeling better about ourselves, and to genuine sharing and love. WTF? By allowing others to see that we mess up now and then, feel lousy, or blue, we provide an opportunity for real connection; a shared, common experience. Not to wallow in, but in order to embrace our shared humanity and support one another in our growth to be more authentic.
Seeking Personal Perfection is a false belief, because it spins us into a vicious circle. We think we’ve got to be “perfect” to be loved. (FALSE. Ironically, it is often our self-perceived “imperfections” that make us more lovable!) This belief leads to loneliness; we can’t be known if we’re “invulnerable” because we are never present when we’re caught in self-doubt. This separation grows larger with each effort to be perfect. Even if we should somehow attain “perfection” we would eventually “fail” at some point. All of our efforts to avoid any apparent flaws would spiral us into the void, farther away from everyone else. Invulnerability & perfection are impossible destinations (See my post The Perfection Trap for more on this topic.)
“When we believe we’ve “gotta get it right”, we rob ourselves of the present moment with the people who are right in front of us. ”
So why am I writing all of this? We have arrived at New Year’s Eve 2025, and the setting of resolutions is hovering in many minds. Rather than “getting it right”, I want us to consider setting intentions this year around personal compassion & kindness; who we are and who we are becoming.
Let’s go deeper in 2026. Of course we all want to be better versions of ourselves! That’s what we are doing here on this planet. But we will never attain “perfection”, that’s what the “journey” is all about. Why not set a resolution to:
“Be your best, most authentic self, no matter what that looks like.”
“Be messy, true and proud.”
“Be kind to yourself and others.”
“Be compassionate with all of who you are (including if you’re not sure who that is!).”
“Consider your “flaws” as doorways to greater truth and deeper connections.”
“Let the mask slip for the sake of true intimacy.”
“Be myself: when I do, I serve as a role model for authenticity and give others permission to do the same.”
When we believe we’ve “gotta get it right”, we rob ourselves of the present moment with the people who are right in front of us.
Isn’t being who we truly are what we all want? Isn’t it time to give yourself permission to be You?
This New Year’s, I’m going with #2 above. Write your own, of course, but make sure it includes some compassion for yourself, where you are in your life, and what you are creating. Please share below, if you feel so inclined!
Happy New Year, Everyone!
Human Design / Gene Key 48: Human Design Gate & Gene Key 48 carries the Shadow of Inadequacy. Our Shadows are what we present to the world when we are not living in our truth, but rather allowing our fears, and our histories, to rule us. More on this in upcoming posts!
